Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Prayers Please

Prayers would be much appreciated for us over the next few days. My husbands grandmother passed away this morning around 1 am. We were able to be there for her and with her at that time. We spent all afternoon with her and the rest of Cameron's family, many of which we rarely see. It was a special experience to be together when she passed on. Cameron and I were able to share our thoughts privately on our way home. My mother was gracious enough to watch the children and we were able to be alone during this very emotional time for my beloved.
Many of his relatives are not saved. Please pray that this will open all the hearts of those that need to be saved. I also pray that the Lord will be with Cameron and do a special work in his heart at this time too. He really needs to feel the Lord's comforting arms around him.
We have all been super stressed this last couple of weeks with his shift change and the lack of sleep and the fact that it seems like no matter how hard we try, we can not get re-adjusted and into a new schedule. Please pray for us in that area too. We are praying that he will be back on day shift sooner than later.
The visitation is tomorrow night and the funeral is the next day. This is the first time our children have ever been to anything like this. Pray for them too and for our Emily, that she will be calm. Thank you all so much! God bless.

Blessings~
Maudie

Monday, December 27, 2010

Excitement Over the New Year!

I am still here! I pray that everyone had a wonderful Christmas. Ours was a "white" Christmas. The first in many years. It actually snowed Christmas day and the next. Its still here, but the bright sunshine is quickly melting it away. I have really enjoyed waking up to a quite house with white snow all over our yard and trees and icycles hanging from the roof and smaller trees. It was the most beautiful thing I have seen in along time.
As for our celebration, we were rather thrown off by the continued illness of Cameron's grandmother. His mother called us Christmas Eve and asked for us to drive down and spend the evening with her and his dad and also go visit his grandmother. That visit may have very well been the last time we will see her alive. She is under the care of hospice and is literally in the last days of her life unless the Lord produces a miracle. Please pray for all of us and for her too. Her name is Francis.
On Christmas Day, we opened presents, watched the snow fall , ate of course, and then went for a ride before the roads got bad to see the snow. When we returned I let the kiddos loose for about 15 mins in the snow. We just got over being sick, so I didn't feel like a relapse :-)
Cameron had to go into work at 11 am yesterday and work until 11 pm. We are praying that he will be back on day shift with in the next couple of days. This new schedule is not working that well for us. The 3- 11:30 thing is not good for our family. Everyone, including Tweedle, had got off their regular schedules and with school starting back next week, I shutter to think what our days will look like.
As for school, I am excited and ready to start back. We hardly did anything this 1st semester. That has to change. Cameron is going to be my accountability partner and so if things don't get done I have to answer to him. Thats what I need. Of course our educational goals for our children are not the same as alot of public school parents, but we still want our children learning daily and staying on task as much as possible. Education is important, along with teaching our children to live for the Lord and major life skills.
Well thats a quick update for me. I probably won't post anymore until after the New Year, so everyone be blessed and enjoy your time with your families :-)

Blessings~
Maudie

Thursday, December 16, 2010

In and Out~ Again

I wanted to add this post in case I forget later. For some reason my brain has NOT been in tip top shape lately :-) We are probably going offline again for a season. I will still update when I can, and I will definately keep everyone updated on my new little baby boy to be, whom by the way will not be David Matthew, but Jackson Tyler, which is the name we chose for Emily if she would have been a boy. Cameron's schedule got changed to 2nd and he is no longer a supervisor which took away a few cents off his hourly pay. So we are cutting back in anyway we can and that more than likely will mean bye-bye to our internet. We don't really use it that much. I use my blackberry to check my email and my favorite message board ( www.cmomb.com) and so as long as I can do that, Im good. And yes even if I couldn't do that I would be fine too. So I am going to go for now, and if we don't cut off our internet, I will be back sooner than later. God bless and have a Merry Christmas and an awesome New Year :-)

Blessings~
Maudie

Friday, December 3, 2010

ITS A.........

BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for all the prayers. David Matthew looks to be a healthy, fiesty , baby boy. Cameron will find out at his lunch. I am making him a blue cupcake and when he bites into it, he will see BLUE!!!! Our children are over the moon and I am too!!! He is soooo cute already. And to think my only other little man, will be 7 in Feb. ;-( He is growing up, so fast!!!! Well I have to go and make some cupcakes! God bless!

Blessings~
Maudie

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Happy Belated Thanksgiving

As we all have so much to be greatful for this Holiday season, I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Belated Thanksgiving. We have had a ton going on. My husbands 80 something grandmother had a stroke and is now in her last days and my emotions have been out of control. I have been swamped with school, and trying so hard to make some much needed changes in my life. I have a list a mile long that I HAVE to work on.
We find out Friday what the new wee one is if baby is willing to show us and then we celebrate our 12th wedding anniversary December 11. This pregnancy has flew by and so has this year. It seems like I was just finding out what my little Tweedle was and now she is almost 6 months old! I can't wrap my mind around it. I will update as soon as I get home Friday morning from the scan to let you all know what wee one is :-) Im hoping for a healthy, bouncing, baby boy , who will be named David Matthew, but a healthy Sarah Elizabeth will be great too! I just feel sad for my James who is all alone. I definately want him to have atleast 1 brother, but the Lord knows best.
On another subject, please pray for me. I have several issues I am dealing with right now and spiritually, I feel rather behind. I need prayer and for the Lord to intervene in some of these situations. I can't go into futher deatails, but they are definately serious.
I guess I will go for now. I will be back for sure Friday with the big news :-) God bless everyone and have a great week!

Blessings~
Maudie

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Yes.... Im Still Alive :-)

Yes, I am still breathing. I just haven't felt like writing. We are all okay though. The pregnancy is chugging right along, as I will be 12 weeks Tuesday and for our 12th Wedding Anniversary present, Cameron is going to pay extra for me to find out what the gender of our new little babe is the first week of December! I am so excited. As for everyone else, including my little tweedle dee, we are all doing pretty well. Morning/All day sickness , has NOT been as brutal this time around, praise nthe Lord! Although the exhaustion is unbelievable this time around. I find my eyes shutting at around 7:30 or earlier if Cameron is off work. I am hoping to write more now that I am feeling better. I am going to revamp some things in my life( inspired by my DEAREST friend to do this, Thank you Jen) and I am going to include some changes to my blog with that and my blogging habbits for that matter. So please stay tuned. I am going to go for now, get out of my church clothes and do some things with the girls. God bless.

Blessings~
Maudie

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

My Appt.

We went to the OB yesterday where she did an u/s and we saw our little baby with its heart beating away at 168. I was very thankful for that. I again woke up this morning to more spotting though. We are really not sure what os causing it, but brown means old, so possibly it is left over from all the spotting I did last month when I found out I was pregnant. Just keep us in your prayers. I will not be posting any right now unless it is related to the new baby. Im just not in the mood to reallhy have alot of internet time right now and I would rather just reflect on my family and what needs to be addressed there, rather than trying to blog. Hope you all understand! God bless.

Blessings~
Maudie

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Prayers Needed Again Please

I started having some pain and spotting last night. Please pray for our baby and for myself. Cameron is taking me to the OB on Monday. I am feeling better today, but just not much in the mood for conversation or writing, but I did want to ask for prayers. Thanks and God bless you all!

Blessings~
Maudie

Monday, September 27, 2010

Good News!

I just got back from the u/s and my due date changed to May 17, but all looks good. The baby's heart was beating away in the 130s and the sweet little babe look healthy and strong! Praise the Lord :-)

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

My Ultrasound

My ultrasound showed a sac in the uterus! We are thrilled. Thank you all so much for the thoughts and prayers. We go back for another u/s to check for a heartbeat on Sept. 27th at 10 am. Please pray that the baby is healthy and that the next u/s shows a healthy baby, with a strong heartbeat. The baby measured exactly 5 weeks and 3 days as I predicted. I know my cycle pretty good, especially after many pregnancys. And I don't know if I post it already or not, but my beloved got a promotion to supervisor of his shift and a raise! GOD is GOOD!

Blessings~
Maudie

Emily's Test Results~

Emily test results came back normal. Praise the Lord! So I guess the spells she was having was from the reflux. We are praying that she doesn't have anymore. I go in this afternoon to my doctors appt and we are going to try to see the baby. I am praying for a healthy baby in the uterus and I would love to see a heartbeat, although I know it is a little early. Well I have to go and finish up our schooling. We were just taking a quick break. I will update on myself either this afternoon or tomorrow. God bless and thanks so much for praying for us!

Blessings~
Maudie

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Quick Update On Me!

Quick update on myself: My numbers from Wed. were 491 and then they were 939 yesterday. So my ob said that was great. I go in Tuesday for another u/s to try to find the baby in the uterus, so I am asking for prayers that we will see a healthy babe in the uterus! And as for Emily... No news yet. They said that we will know something Monday afternoon. We so appreciate these prayers! God bless you all and have a safe weekend!

Blessings~
Maudie

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Feeling a Little More Like Talking...

I feel a little more like talking this morning. First I want to start out by saying thank you so much to everyone who is praying for us. Emily and I slept well last night and so I woke up at 5:30 this morning feeling much more focused and rested and peaceful. I have decided that I am OKAY with not having any control in this issue with this pregnancy and with Emily. I am still hurting pretty bad and I am still spotting a lot of brown liquid ( sorry if TMI) which I have read is a sign of epctopic. With my other one, I never had any spotting or bleeding, so all I can do is wait and pray that if it is epctopic, it will resolve itself, and I will not require another surgery. I really do NOT want to be away from my little Emily overnight. There is a verse, 2 Timothy 1:7 :" For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a sound mind." I am holding onto this verse and have been since right before I found out I was pregnant. When you give your fertitlty or anything for that matter, to the Lord, you can expect NOT to have control over it. I would love more than anything to carry this baby until May and have another healthy baby. I realize though that it may not be in God's plan. I do feel sad about that, but I must focus on what the Lord has already blessed me with and know that HIS plan is perfect. God loved us soooooo much that HE gave His ONLY son for us. He allowed His son to die for us! That alone is blessing enough. So when I look at my life, my children, my home, and everything else that the Lord has given me, I stand amazed at God's grace. I am truly blessed. I pray that all is well with my baby and I pray that all is well with my precious Emily. But I know that I can rest in the fact that I have given control of everything to a God who loved me enough to let His son die for me and still decided to give me many wonderful things here on earth, although I was not worthy of not 1 single thing! And so in this I will praise the Lord, I will draw closer to Him and seek His ways. I have alot to learn about this life and I am determined to live for my Lordand praying all the while that He will allow me to keep on keeping on, and that even if we are not blessed with anymore children, that the Lord will allow us to continue to raise the precious blessings He has already given us, and that He will give us the wisdom to do it in a way that praises Him and only Him! God bless you all today and may He keep you all safe !

Blessings~
Maudie

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Please Continue to Pray

I had my u/s today and it was too early to see anything. I was sent for bloodwork and will go back
Friday for more bloodwork. I also have another appt. Tuesday. I have a bad feeling about this pregnancy, so please pray for me. Also tomorrow is Emily's appt. at the hospital. I will update again when I know more. Thank you all so much for praying.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Please Pray for Emily/Prayer Request for Family

Please pray for Emily. She has been having some spells where she stops breathing. We don't know if it is a symptom of her reflux or if its seizures. I am taking her to the hopsital Thursday at 12 for an EEG. Please remember her in prayers. My son also has hand,foot and mouth. Please pray we don't get it. And as for myself, please pray for me and my unborn baby. I go in at 9 tommorrow for an ultrasound to try to rule out eptopic. Just please keep our family in your prayers. I will update as new things develop.

Blessings~
Maudie

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Big Announcement....

Yes. I have an announcement. A rather shocking one..... I found out yesterday that I am expecting our 6th baby. Yes, Emily is only 3 months old. I am in utter shock. I am excited that Emily will have a sibling so close in age, and my middle 2 daughters are closer than Emily and the new baby will be. So here we go again.... Our edd is May 14, 2011. I will post some pictures later,when Cameron gets home, so he can load them off my blackberry. Please pray that this baby is healthy and in the right place, and that I will have an uneventful pregnancy and that we will all adjust to this news :-) I am also secretly praying that this is a boy for James and Cameron, although healthy baby/moma is the main thing!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

My Story~ Part 2

So after my tubal ligation I was pretty content for about 2 years. Then I began to realize that maybe I had made a mistake. I had a horrible time every month when it was that time, and I was becoming an emotional wreck. I had a hard time with lots of stuff in my life and so I began researching reversals and how much they cost. I mentioned the prospect to Cameron and at first he said no way. We had all we could handle and in my emotional state at that time, he was right. Finally he agreed that maybe a reversal would be okay just as long as we did it to see if it helped me emotionally. The next step was the finances. After much prayer we decided on Dr. Lisa Rogers in Jackson,Tn. Then we needed to send in my medical records to even see if I was a canidate. And praise the Lord, I was a perfect canidate for the reversal. So we were now on the road to trying to save up the $4500.00 we needed to have the surgery. I found a group online that had letters that Dr. Rogers honored that gave you a $500.00 discount,so I sent that in when I got it. That last year before my reversal was by far the worst year of our marriage. I was crazy to say the least. In November of 2008, a man offered to buy my mothers property where we lived. Mother said yes. So we sold her place, land and our place. Mother decided to give us the money we needed to have the reversal and buy us all a home together as long as we would take care of her. So that answered 2 prayers in one. The first prayer was for us to get out from under the debt of a house payment and the second was the funding for the reversal. Normally it takes a month or two to get a surgery date, but when I called they had one available on fittingly enough, December 31st. Just what I needed to start the New Year with a clean slate. I had said that moving to the house ( which we did Dec.19th) and the reversal was like starting new and that come Jan. 1, 2009, I truly would be a new person. And I was!

Blessings~
Maudie

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

My Story~ Part 1

I promised that when I returned to my blogging fully that it would be well worth the wait. So I am going to start from the beginning and tell you my whole story. My life is going somewhere different and so the Lord is leading me to start over, from the start. So here goes: I have been thinking alot lately about life in general. My husband and I have had our ups and downs all these years ( 12 in December to be exact), but we have managed to keep it together. We have 5 wonderful children now and are excited to see how many more the Lord has in store for us. I think about my attitude when we first married. You couldn't have forced me to believe that my life would be like this. I was so much different. But yet today as I look down at my little Emily sleeping away beside me and hear the hussle and bussle of my older children running about through the house, I can not think of anything that could be better than this. So many of our friends have been married and divorced atleast twice by now. Even though Cameron and I were not living according to the Lord's will most of our marriage, we never seen divorce as an option. And yes, we have had troubles in the past. Bad ones in my opinion. The type of things that most people divorce over. But the only one that has saved us was the Lord. Him and only Him. Praise to the Lord for that. We also have suffered through 2 times in our marriage where we sterilized ourselves in order to not allow any more children. I was so sure after the birth of our second daughter, Savannah, that I did not want more, that I made Cameron an appointment with the doctor and he did go and talk to him, but didn't want to get it done. I was so bitter towards him and especially after Savannah was born, when lo and behold, I found myself pregnant with my 3rd child( another daughter) at the tender age of 19, and with a 16 month old, and a 10 week old. So right before Taylor was born Cameron finally agreed to the vasectomy. Then about 2 years later, I really felt led to have him have it undone. I knew that the Lord was going to give us a son, and so after a bit of peruassion onmy part( more like begging) Cameron had the reversal and 9 months later, I was pregnant with James. Then when I delivered him at 34 weeks gestation, with him having several health problems, I decided that during my 4th c section, I would have a tubal ligation. Big mistake....


Blessings~
Maudie

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Look For More~

I just got back from a great church service that has actually inspired me in the areas I have been praying about. I haven't wrote in my blog since my last post because I have been praying about several things. Mainly the direction that the Lord is leading me in my life. So although I don't have to much time right this minute, I am going to be writing more starting this week. I am quite tired right now and I am fixen to lay down for a few with Tweedle Dee. so check back this week for more..... God bless!

Blessings~
Maudie

Friday, August 13, 2010

In and Out~

I wanted to drop in and say hello! Things have been really busy this last couple of weeks. Things are better on the homefront, but still a little unsetteling. We have started back to school and I am actually excited about that. Baby Emily is growing like a weed and is still just as sweet as she was when she was first born. I am trying to figure out how I could use this blog to be a witness to other women and not just talk about my life on here. I know that the Lord is doing some great things in my life right now and I just honestly feel like He is taking me in a different direction than I have been before. I will be posting more on that later. I feel the need to become even more dedicated to the Lord, my husband, my children and my life trying to be a Proverbs 31 lady. The phrase "dying to self"is stuck in my head. I have so many things swirling around, but so little time to post them right now. I have to go because we are taking Emy to have her pictures made! Yes, my baby tweedle dee as we call her, also is nicknamed Emy. So if I talk about tweedle dee or Emy, you will know Im talking about my precious Emily Jordyn!

Blessings~
Maudie

Monday, July 26, 2010

Bye For Now~

I needed to post on here for the last time for awhile. We are having a major issue with my husbands parents, especially his mother. Please pray that the Lord will do a work in her heart and that His will be done in this situation. We feel that our children are in danger to a degree, so it is in their best intrest that there is no blogging for now. Bye for now friends, and may God bless you all and keep you unitl we speak again!

Blessings~
Maudie

Thursday, July 22, 2010

New Design...


Bear with me as I am trying to get a new background for my blog to kind of freshen up my look :) I haven't been on that much lately but I decided to pop in and make a few changes this morning. Today is my Savannah's 11th birthday. Oh how time flys... So this post is for you Savannah! Happy birthday...


Sunday, July 11, 2010

Sweet Surrender

When I woke up this morning my home was unusually quite. 2 of the children were gone to their grandmothers, and 2 of them was peacefully sleeping and then 1 little baby was happily nursing. I cherish my time in moments like that. Not that I don't love my children or family, but I love my quite time. I use that time to pray and talk to the Lord. I spent a good hour or so praying this morning. I prayed for my family, my husband, my friends and for myself. I am trying to change several areas in my life. It has proven to be a difficult task. I spent alot of time this morning talking to the Lord about what areas that I know still need improvement. And I have actually heard the Holy Spirit speaking to me today in my heart, telling me to "shh... be quite" or "smile", "have a better attitude", "ask him if he needs anything", "be cheerful"; the list goes on. My heart and spiritual ears are open to whatever the Lord wants me to know. I have a wonderful smelling dinner cooking in my crockpot. My kitchen is clean and our laundry is almost done. I did not freak out when our lawnmower would not start even though our grass is ten feet tall in our backyard. I just said a quite prayer to the Lord that He would take care of the situation with the lawnmower and that it wouldn't be anything major. I am trying to see things in a different light. That is why I titled this entry "Sweet Surrender". When we decide that we are going to serve the Lord, where ever we are at or in whatever we are doing, we must surrender. And not just a little bit. We must surrender 110%. That means giving the Lord control of everything in our life and more. I am trying to really praise the Lord, allow Him to do whatever He sees fit for me, and honor the Lord ( and as an added blessing) and make my marriage much sweeter, by honoring my husband. As Proverbs 31 women, we must do whatever it takes to become that lady. The Lord has put us in this position in life to be an example of His love to our husbands, children, and the world around us. But our first duty is to the Lord, then our husbands, our children, then other people. We must take care of our domain: THE HOME. I love my husband, and no he is not perfect, but neither am I! I have many faults that my beloved has graciously looked over for years. I must do the same. By honoring my beloved, and serving him here at home and with our children, and while have a sweet spirit about me while doing these things; I am honoring my Heavenly Father. We must remember that. Only when you realize the complete picture and what the Lord really expects of us, when we surrender to Him and His ways, will our surrender be sweet. Change is always difficult, but when you understand the why and what of the matter, it is much easier. God bless and enjoy the rest of your day!

Blessings~
Maudie

Friday, July 9, 2010

Hi~

Again I will say that I am still here. I have just been taking a break from blogging and I still have a ton on my mind. Our SUV is broke down at the moment, so we are currently in a rental car. Of course it is way too small but that is all we could afford( well we really couldn't but we had to) . So I am going to try to get my home nice and tidy this weekend and then I will begin preparing for BACK TO SCHOOL. So far August 2nd is our tenative date to start back. I was blessed to be able to find 10 ABeka readers that I was needing at the thrift store, in like new condition for $1.25 a piece. I was thrilled. So of course I snatched them right up. Now I only need 2 things to complete my back to school curriculum needs. Those 2 things are the complete speech therapy at home set for James from www.superstarspeech.com and I will be ordering the 3rd grade math curriculum for Taylor from Rod & Staff ( 1-606-522-4348 Mondays 9-5 and Tuesdays to Fridays 8-5 Eastern Standard Time) . If you are looking for Rod & Staff material, you can call the number above and request a catalog. They have tons of great resources. Well I guess I will go for tonight. I am pretty tired and my side is hurting so I hope that some sleep will help me rest up for tomorrows task. God bless.

Blessings~
Maudie

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Checking In....

I haven't posted in several days because I have been trying to get myself in a better place emotionally. I am semi-succeding at this although I am still struggling. When I first started this blog I imagined that my writings would all be inspirational and cheerful, but real life is not always that. So pardon me for being real. I am going to say exactly how I feel and record my inner most thoughts here. The main thing that has been on my mind lately since Justin's death has been my relationship with the Lord, my beloved and my children. Its easy to get so caught up in keeping up with the world. I haven't really done that but my mind still wonders if we are raising our children right. Cameron and me both agree that we want our children raised differently than we were. Not saying that we were not raised good because we were,but still we have different values and aspirations for our children than our parents do/did have. Just an example.... my girls and I are dresses/skirts only. And when I say dresses/skirts, I mean well below the knee. Anyway, my mother in law hates that we are depriving the kids of dressing "popular" and of a good public school education. So earlier today she came and got 2 of the 5 children to take to her house to spend the night. No sooner than the girls were pulling out of the driveway, they were in her backseat changing into the clothes she has them wear.This really bothers me. My husband doesn't really see the big deal since they are really only going to her house, but in my opinion, it is confusing to them. My middle daughter makes it clear that she doesn not want to allow the Lord to control her family size and that IF she ever has children she only wants 1, maybe 2. She also is counting the days until she can be own her own. She has no desire to be a wife or stay at home mother. She wants to be like her Nana. This hurts me. Is my life and my role here so horrible that she really wants no part of it? Have I already missed that chance to make a real difference in her life?She doesn't do her chores, she is constantly in trouble for refusing to do things that we do as a family. Is this because she is 11 ( or will be in 19 days), or is this due to the influence of her Nana, or is it from the horrible attitude that I have at times? I really am at a loss. I pray for her and her heart. I pray that the Lord will open up to her and show her that way that He would have her to go. I think that when I complain, maybe that has rubbed off on her. I think about my marriage. We have not always been a good example of a Godly marriage and a Godly family. I think when we have children, we must realize that everything, even little things are examples and illustrations to our children about life. They base alot of their future decisions on what we do. Especially the things that they have no experience in. I have many more thoughts on this and several other subjects, but since I am done nursing my sweet baby, I am going to go join my beloved under the carport where he is bbq-ing. Blessings and have a safe 4th!

Blessings~
Maudie

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Im Still Here....

Yes... Im still here. I haven't posted this week because honestly it has been a horrible week. A dear friend of mine and Cameron's took his own life on June 21. He was only 29 years old and probably one of the smartest people I know. He could quote scripture like no one else that I know, yet his life had taken some horrible and very unfortunate turns that to him, left him in a hopeless position in life. He told his mom that he had complete peace with the decision he made to take his own life. He said that he was going to Heaven to be in peace. Oh how I pray that this is true for him. His name was Justin and his moms name is Tina. Please pray for her.
As far as everything else goes, my week has not been good. Cameron and I have kind of been at odds this week. My mind does not seem to be where it needs to be. I have felt so bad this past week. I want me and Cameron to be able to get back to where we were. My attitude has left us rather at odds. I need to dust off my copy of "Created to be His Helpmeet" and read it again for like the hundreth time! I love that book. Well I guess I am gonna go for now, and try to get me and Emily ready for bed. God bless!

Blessings~
Maudie

Monday, June 21, 2010

Changes.....

Pardon me if I just ramble for a bit. I have a ton of things on my mind. So none of this may make sense or all of it may completely click together. Since Emily has been born and actually right before she was born, I have felt a need/deep desire to change somethings in my life. I am a Christian. I am trying to be the best I can be according to what the Lord wants me to be, but somewhere along the way, I have lost sight of what that really means. I have struggled with breastfeeding Emily. That is something I have desperately wanted to do for years. I have never been successful at breastfeeding a baby since my first daughter 12 years ago. I have been full of emotions lately. Back and forth between elation and depression. I have been terrified of my future. It is so easy to sit and say God is in control. As I sit here and think on that, I realize that I have been trying to be in control for too long. I say that I trust God in all areas of my life. I say I trust Him with our finances, yet I constantly worry. I say I trust Him with our fertility, yet I am DEATHLY afraid to become pregnant again too soon. I find that I don't pray near as much as I should and that I am always fighting a battle with my bad attitude towards my kids, my mom and sometimes my husband. I feel like I need a change. In order to be who I know that the Lord is calling me to be, it will require alot Lord. I must do whatever I have to do to honor my husband and his wishes knowing that when I do that I am honoring my heavenly Father. I must use and master the art of self control. I have to learn to be content in my circumstances and be greatful for what I have. I have sooooo much to be thankful for. I have 5 beautiful, healthy children. I have a mother, who although we are like night and day in our beliefs, loves me and her grandchildren enough to sell her home of 55 years, and buy US a home to live in debt free! All she asks is that she can be here until she passes away. I have a husband who is more forgiving than you all will ever knows, and although he doesn't always verbally smother me in praises, or doesn't always do what I think he should, but he loves me like no other ever could or would. We have been through so many valleys and rough patches. The roughest of all was almost 2 years ago, in November of 2008. I will not elaborate, but we nearly divorced. But the Lord graciously (sp?) stepped in and rescued our marriage and our family. I have been on a life changing journey since November 2007. But I never really comitted myself 100% to following the Lord's lead until March 2009. I must sit down and recommit myself again to following what I know needs to be done. I must organize my life, my home, and make myself a realistic daily schedule. I must do it, not just talk about it. I know the things that I need to learn to do, such as sewing, and I must sit down and dedicate myself to learning how to do them. I need to be more resourceful with our finances. I am also going to dedicate myself to healthier, made from scratch cooking. I am fortunate to be on a message board www.cmomb.com (CHECK IT OUT) that is full of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31 women who are encouraging, honest and loving. And they strive to follow the Lord and do what they are
suposed to do according to God's will for their lives. It is a great source of tips and encouragment to seek out the Lord. And on how to live debt free, frugal and how to accept all the Lord's blessings into our lives whether they be children or other things. So I am going to use this blog as an outlet from now on to record what the Lord is really doing in my life as I commit myself to changing these areas that are in desperate need of change. I will still chat about my daily life, but more inportantly, I want to be an encouragment to other women who are also on this journey. Please pray for us as a family. Please pray for me as a daughter of the King, a wife, a helpmeet , a mother , and a person in general. Pray for us as we start to plan our upcoming homeschool year and schedule. Pray for my husband to be encouraged and inspired and greatly delighted with the changes I am making. I want to close by saying thank you in advance for the prayers and thoughts. I pray that I can make someones day a little brighter when I post and that the Lord will use this blog to be an outreach to women who are in need of encouragment or change. Be blessed my friends...

Blessings~
Maudie

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Back to Reality.....

Tomorrow is going to be my official "Back to Reality" day. I am itching to get back into a routine of some sort and I am praying for an easy transition. The kids have been rather wild for 2 months or so now because at the end of my pregnancy with Emily, I was exhausted to say the least. My house is now pretty overcome with mess and I have been on the couch with Emily since we came home from the hospital last week. I woke up this morning with a horrible backache that radiates through my shoulder blades and into my chest. Emily slept well last night( actually she slept from 1 am or so until 8 am) but James slept on the loveseat. He slept on the loveseat until he decided to join me and Emily on the couch. Keep in mind, I am 5'7, with a 20 inch newborn, and a 6 year old little boy, who isn't short by any means; Imagine trying to get a good nights sleep in that situation :-). NOT going to happen. James was suffering from a sore throat, so since he has been my baby for 6 years, I still had to coddle him instead of letting my beloved take him to bed with him. Which, yes, that would have been more comfortable. We have a king size bed and James and Cameron can both sleep well on it. But my motherly instincts kick in anytime any of my kids are sick, no matter how old they are. So I am tired today. I am hoping to be back in my bed tonight. I am setting up Emily's playpen beside my bed and I am going to slink back into my comfortable sleeping spot next to my beloved. Speaking of sleeping, my Emily is waking up, so I've gotta go.

Blessings~
Maudie

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Announcing...


Miss Emily Jordyn Smith....
Emily was born Tuesday,, June 8th at 10:26 am. She was 19 1/2 inches long and 6 lbs. 9 oz. And we are COMPETELY smitten by her. She is beautiful and an amazing baby. She is so calm and so sweet. She is the best baby we have ever had. She rarely crys and she is so tiny. We are truly blessed to have her. I did have a repeat c-section rather than trying to vbac. My blood pressure was high and I had been contracting for days with no progress. The birth was great. It was my best section yet. The nurses were amazed with me. I only stayed 2 days. We went home Thursday afternoon. My recovery at home has been a little different. I am hurting really bad on my right side from my lower back down to my hip and leg. I think it has something to do with the epidural. It was horrible. I have decided that I will have a spinal for any future births. My doctor also said that my scar tissue was basically non existent but that my uterus was thin. She said that it would have been a disatster had we went ahead with the vbac. We were not at peace with that and I am thankfully that we followed what the Lord was telling us to do. I am breastfeeding and it is going pretty good. I am just trying to relax and enjoy my new baby blessing. I will go for now, but I will be posting as much as I can. God bless!
Blessings~
Maudie

Monday, June 7, 2010

Tomorrow is My Big Day~

Tomorrow morning at 8 am I am scheduled to meet my doctor at L&D for the birth of our baby girl, Emily Jordyn. Please pray for a safe delivery resulting in a healthy baby and a healthy moma! I will update when I get back from the hospital, unless I can get my laptop online at the hospital! God bless.

Blessings~
Maudie

Still Here...

Im still here! I guess I will call my doctor this morning and see if I can come in. I am miserable and in pain. I did get some things on my to do list done yesterday :-) That is a plus. I am pleased with what all I achieved yesterday with the help of my beloved of course. Well I am going to go for now. I will update later when I know more. God bless!

Blessings~
Maudie

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Random Thoughts...

Well it is a Sunday morning and I am enjoying a little alone time before anyone wakes up. I love to do this. It is one of my most cherished activitys. Sitting alone and just listening to silence. Actually the sound I am hearing is the quite tapping of my fingers on the keys of the computer keyboard. I have many thoughts on my mind this morning and so I am going to just randomly throw them out there. First of all is struggling. I don't know if its being pregnant or just the devil, but I am finding myself really struggling in a couple of areas. We are modest dressing. We wear dresses and skirts only and have been this way for well over a year, really almost 2. All of a sudden I am struggling with that area. I sometimes wonder are my girls missing out because we can't just go buy them whatever at the mall and send them on their way. It is really hard to find clothing that meets our standards. I don't know how to sew and if I did , it would probably be easier to put them in modest clothing. I am praying about that area in my life and my girls. I feel so alone and isolated sometimes. It is soooo hard to be different and to make that choice to remain different especially with no outside support. My mother lives with us and she thinks we are crazy and that the kids are missing out on a ton of things. Then there is that issue. With Cameron working again we could technically give my mom this house and move back out alone. Of course that would leave my mother alone and she is 75 and not in the best of shape. I feel so torn between my family and the family I had as a child.My mother sees things much differently than we do and mother also trys to push those views on our kids. She has her favorite which is my oldest daughter, and no matter what she does no wrong. I can not stand that. Cameron's mother is very much the same way. She is taken with our second daughter and thinks that she is a saint. This makes for a very uncomfortable situation. Cameron's mother thinks we are crazy all the way around and thinks that we are ruining our childrens lives. She despises every choice we make and although she has come around somewhat to the idea that we are having another baby, hence she will be a nana x 5, she still makes extremely rude and out of the way comments about us, the other kids and our choices. She isn't proud of Cameron's job and thinks he should be making more money. He will be making plenty of it for our liking, thank you very much. And she doesn't respect anything we say in regards to the kids. She takes them off and dresses them in ways we don't approve of and then she ask them to lie about it. Of course they come straight in and tell us. It is extremely hard to deal with all this at times. And then back to my mother (who lives with us) I am very thankful for her and what she has done, but we are night and day, oil and water. And it is becoming more and more difficult as the days go by. I want to enjoy my relationship with my mother, because I realize that she is not a young lady and that her health is not wonderful, but where do you draw the line between adult parent/child relationship and the one you had before, especially when your lifestyle has changed dramatically? We are so different and it seems that she does try to press my buttons. Whether it be a smart comment to me or a put down about my beloved. Or a long conversation with her precious(evil) chihuhua( sp?) . It bothers me a bunch. I am praying about all this and many other issues. I am planning on a major revamp of several things once Emily is born. I have to get my self together and get back on track for my kids sake and my own sake. Speaking of birth.... I am having contractions this morning which is a good sign, so I am fixen to get up, get moving and hope that maybe a little baby isn't to far away from making her grand entrance. We are sooooo excited to meet our precious Emily!

Blessings~
Maudie
P.S: I am going to be changing my blog background, so bear with me if it looks a little wierd for awhile.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Finally.... an Update

Finally, I can update. Our internet was turned back on 2 days ago and my beloved got me a new laptop computer and it was delivered yesterday. I will quickly try to fill in the details of the last few months of our life. Where shall I start??? First, I guess I can start with Cameron's job situation. He has remained unemployed this whole time until Wednesday. When we first got married Cameron got a job at a local company and was there for 6 years. They clean industry filters. It was a very good job, but after 6 years, Cameron left to pursue a new career. Well since then we have floundered with him working for himself, Directv and the local cable company. We have always kept in close contact with our friends from this place and earlier in the year Cameron and I mentioned that if they were ever hiring again, to please let him know. So last Friday, our friend called and said that there is a postion available in the lab. The lab is the only part of the shop that operates on a Monday- Friday, regular day shift. The standard is 8 hours a day with overtime, which we are very thankful for. Even with overtime, Cameron gets off no later than 3:30 or 4:30. He may have to go in a little earlier than his standard 6 am, but we have no problem with that. Anyways when went out there on Tuesday, the man in charge of hiring wasn't back from Memorial day vacation, so they took Cameron's number and said that they would call him Tuesday. And sure enough they did. He went took his drugscreen, watched his pre-employment safety courses and viola... He started work on a very reasonable pay rate,( PTL!!!!) on Thursday. This has been a direct answer to my prayers. I prayed that Cameron would get a good job with family friendly hours and good benefits, by the time that Emily was born. Well God literally answered that prayer exactly as I had asked. Emily is due anytime now. In fact, my doctor sais I would have Emily by next Friday for sure. Now onto Miss Emily and her upcoming arrival :-) That is definatley the highlight of my life at the moment. We have went back and forth as to whether to vbac or have a scheduled c section. We switched Ob/Gyns and are much better satisfied with my new doctor. She is sweet and listens to me. I have had some pre labor, and false labor, but so far, no baby. My pregnancy has been great. No medical complications, although I have delt with alot of emotional issues this last 2 months. Probably since about 32 weeks or so. I am so ready to meet my little baby. I thought that I was in labor yesterday and so I called thw doctor and she instructed me to go straight to labor and delivery, so I did. After an hour or 2 up there, she said that I was on my way to deliver her and that she figured I would go into labor this weekend. I opted to come back home and I have been waiting it out. I am not in near as much pain as I was last night, but I am just as annoyed as I have been. My patience has been HORRIBLE with this pregnancy. Everything gets on my nerves. The sound of the kids chewing, my mother slurping her morning coffee and several other things that I won't menton. Anyways..... All that said, I pray that I will go into full fledged labor today and that I can get this show on the road. With that 2 of my daughters are up and already argueing so I will go for now. But I will definately be updating. God bless!!!!!

Maudie ~

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Im Back!!!!

I wanted to say that I am back and have alot to tell :-) I will post a long post in the morning. God bless :-)

Maudie

Friday, January 22, 2010

We Found Out Yesterday....

We ended up going on to the doctor yesterday. And the verdict is in....

ITS A GIRL!!!!! EMILY JORDYN SMITH!!!!!!!!!

We are pretty excited. We will get 1 more u/s in Feb. just to check the development. In other news we are shutting our internet back off. ButI will update when I can at the library and at my friends house. Please pray for the Lord to continue to bless this pregnancy and baby Emily. I would also like to ask for prayer as my beloved and I seek to live a more simple type life. I pray that the Lord will bring the right job to him also. And of course pray for our homeschooling. We are transitioning to Rod and Staff after tax returns come in. And we are praying about staying in the ATI. And last but not least, I have a very important unspoken request in regards to our marriage and where the Lord is leading us spiritually. Well thats all for now...

Blessings~
Maudie

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Almost Time...

Time is ticking!!!!! At 9 am Friday morning we will be at the Doctor's office praying that our precious baby is 100% healthy and that it is laying or sitting in the right position to tell if its a Jackson or an Emily :-) We are sooooo excited!!! I am going to get on to my chores for today, but wanted to add this... and of course I will be updating after my appointment:-) Be blessed~

Blessings~
Maudie

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Chit~Chat..

Things have been a tad difficult here the last couple of days. We have all been sick except for Cameron and my mom ( thank the Lord) and so the kids behavior has been horrible. My middle daughter Savannah ( who had ALWAYS been my most trying child) has been expecially disrespectful. How do you handle these days? Well I have not been so proud of myself the last week or so. My kids have been a mess, my house is a mess, and my dogs have even went crazy!!!! I feel like pulling the covers over my head and hiding for awhile. I know though that this too shall pass. I am trying to get control of my bad attitude and my harsh words. I can be quite mean , especially with Savannah because I am so frustrated. Yesterday I was on the verge of crying by the time Cameron came home from work (this was his 3rd day back at work after being unemployed since October 17th.) so he was not feeling like hearing all the drama, but he handled it with grace. Something I am lacking in lately. I am trying. Today has been better. I am being blessed by a lady that I don't even know, but she works with my cousin, and she is giving us a brand new bassinet, a swing and a bouncer for our new baby. We are going to pick it up after Cameron gets home from work. I am so happy that she is doing this for us. We will be better off hopefully, by the time the baby arrives, but big ticket items like those are always hard to purchase. With Cameron being self-employed, we have to make every dollar count. That is something that I am going to have to work on. I want to learn how to be more frugal and more content with what I have. I am in desperate need of some maternity shirts and skirts, but thankfully I have a few piecs that I have been able to work with until Cameron can get a couple of decent checks. I have actually lost 2 pounds in the last 2 weeks which is not good my doctor says. But I have been stressed and honestly haven't had much of an appetite. I keep saying that I am going to make a post about my goals for the New Year, but I just haven't done it yet. I have so many things that I HAVE to work on that I dont know if blogspot allows post that long :-) But hopefully when I am fully recovered from this cold and my life gets back in order a little, I can post some things. I am going to go for now, because I want to get a few things done while my nose isn't running. I will write again later!

Blessings~
Maudie