I feel a little more like talking this morning. First I want to start out by saying thank you so much to everyone who is praying for us. Emily and I slept well last night and so I woke up at 5:30 this morning feeling much more focused and rested and peaceful. I have decided that I am OKAY with not having any control in this issue with this pregnancy and with Emily. I am still hurting pretty bad and I am still spotting a lot of brown liquid ( sorry if TMI) which I have read is a sign of epctopic. With my other one, I never had any spotting or bleeding, so all I can do is wait and pray that if it is epctopic, it will resolve itself, and I will not require another surgery. I really do NOT want to be away from my little Emily overnight. There is a verse, 2 Timothy 1:7 :" For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love and of a sound mind." I am holding onto this verse and have been since right before I found out I was pregnant. When you give your fertitlty or anything for that matter, to the Lord, you can expect NOT to have control over it. I would love more than anything to carry this baby until May and have another healthy baby. I realize though that it may not be in God's plan. I do feel sad about that, but I must focus on what the Lord has already blessed me with and know that HIS plan is perfect. God loved us soooooo much that HE gave His ONLY son for us. He allowed His son to die for us! That alone is blessing enough. So when I look at my life, my children, my home, and everything else that the Lord has given me, I stand amazed at God's grace. I am truly blessed. I pray that all is well with my baby and I pray that all is well with my precious Emily. But I know that I can rest in the fact that I have given control of everything to a God who loved me enough to let His son die for me and still decided to give me many wonderful things here on earth, although I was not worthy of not 1 single thing! And so in this I will praise the Lord, I will draw closer to Him and seek His ways. I have alot to learn about this life and I am determined to live for my Lordand praying all the while that He will allow me to keep on keeping on, and that even if we are not blessed with anymore children, that the Lord will allow us to continue to raise the precious blessings He has already given us, and that He will give us the wisdom to do it in a way that praises Him and only Him! God bless you all today and may He keep you all safe !