Seeking the Lord Daily

Yes... Im still here. I haven't posted this week because honestly it has been a horrible week. A dear friend of mine and Cameron's took his own life on June 21. He was only 29 years old and probably one of the smartest people I know. He could quote scripture like no one else that I know, yet his life had taken some horrible and very unfortunate turns that to him, left him in a hopeless position in life. He told his mom that he had complete peace with the decision he made to take his own life. He said that he was going to Heaven to be in peace. Oh how I pray that this is true for him. His name was Justin and his moms name is Tina. Please pray for her. As far as everything else goes, my week has not been good. Cameron and I have kind of been at odds this week. My mind does not seem to be where it needs to be. I have felt so bad this past week. I want me and Cameron to be able to get back to where we were. My attitude has left us rather at odds. I need to dust off my copy of "

Pardon me if I just ramble for a bit. I have a ton of things on my mind. So none of this may make sense or all of it may completely click together. Since Emily has been born and actually right before she was born, I have felt a need/deep desire to change somethings in my life. I am a Christian. I am trying to be the best I can be according to what the Lord wants me to be, but somewhere along the way, I have lost sight of what that really means. I have struggled with breastfeeding Emily. That is something I have desperately wanted to do for years. I have never been successful at breastfeeding a baby since my first daughter 12 years ago. I have been full of emotions lately. Back and forth between elation and depression. I have been terrified of my future. It is so easy to sit and say God is in control. As I sit here and think on that, I realize that I have been trying to be in control for too long. I say that I trust God in all areas of my life. I say I trust Him with our finances, yet I

Tomorrow is going to be my official "Back to Reality" day. I am itching to get back into a routine of some sort and I am praying for an easy transition. The kids have been rather wild for 2 months or so now because at the end of my pregnancy with Emily, I was exhausted to say the least. My house is now pretty overcome with mess and I have been on the couch with Emily since we came home from the hospital last week. I woke up this morning with a horrible backache that radiates through my shoulder blades and into my chest. Emily slept well last night( actually she slept from 1 am or so until 8 am) but James slept on the loveseat. He slept on the loveseat until he decided to join me and Emily on the couch. Keep in mind, I am 5'7, with a 20 inch newborn, and a 6 year old little boy, who isn't short by any means; Imagine trying to get a good nights sleep in that situation :-). NOT going to happen. James was suffering from a sore throat, so since he has been my baby for 6 y

Miss Emily Jordyn Smith.... Emily was born Tuesday,, June 8th at 10:26 am. She was 19 1/2 inches long and 6 lbs. 9 oz. And we are COMPETELY smitten by her. She is beautiful and an amazing baby. She is so calm and so sweet. She is the best baby we have ever had. She rarely crys and she is so tiny. We are truly blessed to have her. I did have a repeat c-section rather than trying to vbac. My blood pressure was high and I had been contracting for days with no progress. The birth was great. It was my best section yet. The nurses were amazed with me. I only stayed 2 days. We went home Thursday afternoon. My recovery at home has been a little different. I am hurting really bad on my right side from my lower back down to my hip and leg. I think it has something to do with the epidural. It was horrible. I have decided that I will have a spinal for any future births. My doctor also said that my scar tissue was basically non existent but that my uterus was thin. She said that it would have bee

Tomorrow morning at 8 am I am scheduled to meet my doctor at L&D for the birth of our baby girl, Emily Jordyn. Please pray for a safe delivery resulting in a healthy baby and a healthy moma! I will update when I get back from the hospital, unless I can get my laptop online at the hospital! God bless. Blessings~ Maudie

Im still here! I guess I will call my doctor this morning and see if I can come in. I am miserable and in pain. I did get some things on my to do list done yesterday :-) That is a plus. I am pleased with what all I achieved yesterday with the help of my beloved of course. Well I am going to go for now. I will update later when I know more. God bless! Blessings~ Maudie

Well it is a Sunday morning and I am enjoying a little alone time before anyone wakes up. I love to do this. It is one of my most cherished activitys. Sitting alone and just listening to silence. Actually the sound I am hearing is the quite tapping of my fingers on the keys of the computer keyboard. I have many thoughts on my mind this morning and so I am going to just randomly throw them out there. First of all is struggling. I don't know if its being pregnant or just the devil, but I am finding myself really struggling in a couple of areas. We are modest dressing. We wear dresses and skirts only and have been this way for well over a year, really almost 2. All of a sudden I am struggling with that area. I sometimes wonder are my girls missing out because we can't just go buy them whatever at the mall and send them on their way. It is really hard to find clothing that meets our standards. I don't know how to sew and if I did , it would probably be easier to put them in mod

Finally, I can update. Our internet was turned back on 2 days ago and my beloved got me a new laptop computer and it was delivered yesterday. I will quickly try to fill in the details of the last few months of our life. Where shall I start??? First, I guess I can start with Cameron's job situation. He has remained unemployed this whole time until Wednesday. When we first got married Cameron got a job at a local company and was there for 6 years. They clean industry filters. It was a very good job, but after 6 years, Cameron left to pursue a new career. Well since then we have floundered with him working for himself, Directv and the local cable company. We have always kept in close contact with our friends from this place and earlier in the year Cameron and I mentioned that if they were ever hiring again, to please let him know. So last Friday, our friend called and said that there is a postion available in the lab. The lab is the only part of the shop that operates on a Monday-

I wanted to say that I am back and have alot to tell :-) I will post a long post in the morning. God bless :-) Maudie