Im still living and breathing ;-) but I have been very busy. We all had the flu, beloved was out of work for a week, and my Tweedle had a really hard time and caught her first ear infection after the flu. So basically we have been busy being sick, which is no fun, let me tell you. I have been really having a hard time emotionally lately with all the things that the Lord has laid on my heart. I have had to make the painful choice to distance myself from several people, some including family, and return my focus to the Lord and my family here at home. I am reading a devotional book that I bought from Vision Forum (www.visionforum.com) that speaks about contentment and the other one I am reading speaks about Joy. In one of them, the author talks about sometimes you must let people go and that for the majority of the time, people are in your past for a reason. And that there is a good reason most are not in your present day life. I am realizing this more and more. I am trying my best to find out what it is the Lord has in store for me. I only want that, whatever that is. If His will becomes mine, then my life will be much better. For years I have tried so hard to control and micromanage every part of my life and then a news flash hit me....... I am HORRIBLE at it. I made a new commitement to the Lord that I am totally dedicated to Him and to doing what He created me to do. This has meant letting go of people, memories and things period. It means letting go of all control, all the while having faith that the Lord knows my needs and will take care of me. I am also focusing alot on my children and their homeschooling, their spiritual condition and our relationship all together. I want us to enjoy every moment we have together. I am also purposing to be a better wife, homekeeper, and daughter. I want to be content here at home. Even if there are days that go by and I haven't left the house. I used to think that I had to leave home everyday. Even if it was just to run to the store to get away. I wasted so much time, gas and money on dumb things. My family ate way too many fast food meals because I was too lazy to plan our menus and keep up with them. I am sooooo done with that. Here are just a few of our new goals as a family:
1} A garden ( tomatoes, cucumbers, beans, squash, okra, maybe corn)
2} Chickens for eggs
3} I am commited to nursing Jackson for atleast a year. My beloved allowed me to purchase a very nice medela pump incase I have any problems.
4} A clean and organized home
5} Staying out of debt if at all possible
6} Spending more quality time together as a family
7} Finding the right place to fellowship as believers
8} Being with more likeminded people
9} Letting go of relationships/hobbies that will not bring joy to the Lord or that may be a bad influence
So all in all we are planning many changes. I am also determined to learn to sew and be more frugal. I also want to make more homemade, from scratch meals. I am planning on making some freezer meals before Jackson is born, so we won't have to be so rushed to get out and about after he comes home and so my girls can just defrost and throw them in the oven. Speaking of Jackson, we only have until the first week of May and my Ob/Gyn is delivering him as long as his lungs are mature. I will be 38 weeks the first week of May. So I am in the homestretch now. Well I can smell dinner, and my girls have prepared me a plate, so I am going to go do what any 7 month along pregnant lady LOVES to do..... EAT ;-) God bless!