Howdy! Once again I have failed to keep up with my blogging. So to answer your question sweet friend...yes, you can be my accountability partner in blogging!!!
I have so many things to share, so where do I begin? I guess the first thing is that we found out our sweet new blessing will be a baby girl. We have named her Sarah Elizabeth!!! We are over the moon. The next big thing is something that has kind of been in the background for many years now. I have tried my hardest over the last few years to "do" all these "things" to prove I am a Christian. I have went plain, wore head coverings, no makeup, and I even sold all my jewelry short of a plain gold wedding band. All the stress and confusion has nearly torn my family apart. We have a daughter who can no longer live in our household due to her behavior that all stemmed when I began pushing all these rules on her. I want to add that she did make her own choices, and ultimately those choices made it to where she could no longer live here. So she is with her grandmother and doing quiet well there. My husband and I, who have always had a wonderful marriage, began to bicker and argue. My whole family pretty much thought I had flew the coop so to speak. I look back on all this time and I realized one day that I had been wrong. It simply dawned on me that the Lord who gave his only son to die a brutal death for me on the cross, was NOT going to send me to Hell because I chose to honor my husband and dress modest, but not plain. Because I chose to honor my husband and put a little makeup and jewelry on. Because I chose to honor my husband and put away the head covering. I realized that my head is my husband. It isn't a preacher or another man. God is my ultimate authority and he tells me to honor my husband. All this time my husband silently allowed me to "lead" our family. What a hard pill for me to swallow! But the truth hurts. We loved our church and the fellowship there. And I will miss them dearly. They were like family. But the God's honest truth is that we can't go there and NOT be plain. The few times I've worn modest clothes there rather than plain, its been uncomfortable. And I was even told by another person that they had been talking about us too. That hurt really badly. I finally opened up to my husband one night on one of our rides. I just told him all the things that was on my mind and he told me all the things that was on his. He asked me to please put away all the plain stuff and head coverings and to please wear a tad of makeup and fix my self up a little like I used to. I felt so guilty because I had really taught myself and my children that those things were sin. Like the kind of sin that sends you to hell. OUCH... Another prick in my heart. My poor Emily didn't know what to think when Daddy came home with light pink finger nail polish and we all painted our toenails. I finally look rested again and feel refreshed. I still don't pack it on, but I know that my husband is pleased. I know that my husband isn't asking anything of me that will send me to hell. I really feel foolish when I look back over the last few years. I forced a lifestyle on my family that was really led by me, not my husband. Thats all changed now. I am submitting to my sweet, wonderful husband.We are looking forward to becoming happy again. We are plan on re-newing our vows. We also look forward to what God has in store for us. We are planning on finding a new church and have decided to re-list our home again, but not to move where we wanted to, but to where God leads us. We know that our home didn't sell the first time because God forseen all this. Praise to Him that He is an all knowing, ever-loving God! Yes, He still punishes us, but He also forgives and loves us despite our worthlessness.
I have a new drive to get back in the swing of school. We plan on starting fresh in April and continuing on until June. Just in time to take a "baby break" to meet our sweet Sarah! We plan on jumping back into the saddle again in September. We are content to be on this path again. We are praying about re-joining the ATI and actually attending the family conference they host every year.
I want to say though that I have some very dear friends who are plain. Some are ex-old order Amish, some are just converts to plain living, but I love and respect those people and their convictions. However those convictions are not my convictions. I believe in modesty, simple living, seeking the Lord continually, and being a light for Him in this dark, evil world that we live in. Does that mean I have to be plain, or wear a head covering? No. I can do all kinds of actions to prove I am a Christian. But I assure you if my inside attitude doesn't match up with the outside, then I have done no good for anyone. I have to be a witness of Christ in my actions and attitude, rather than just how I dress. Thank you all for following me on this journey we have been on. I am looking forward to the future more than ever now! As always, prayers are very much appreciated and I would love to pray for you all as well. If you have any prayer needs, feel free to email them to me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
I look forward to posting again soon, hopefully with some updated pictures. :-)